texts from pearson hardman
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(970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it’s so cute.
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(716): He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response “He dates CRAZY bitches.”
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(650): how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
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(610): I think misery doesn’t even think of me as company anymore. I’m an unofficial roommate.
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(317): I’m sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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(612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won’t help at all, but my life is awesome!
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(512): Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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